""Beneath the pressure of torments such as these, the feeble remnant of the good within me succumbed. Evil thoughts became my sole intimates-the darkest and most evil of thoughts.""
-Edgar Allan Poe, The Black Cat

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Road Kill Cafe By T.K. Millin

The convertible’s high beam hardly brightens the pitch blackness of the desert night as it speeds its way across Route 395. “Freedom!” Cassie shouts, pulling off her tank top and swirling it above her head. Kate looks in the rear view mirror and smiles. She and her roommate have been waiting for Spring Break since New Year’s Day. 

Kate looks over at Hunter passed out in the passenger seat, still grasping his beer, “I told you my boyfriend was a light weight!” She yells back at Cassie. “Yeah, and he's a loser too! I’m telling you when it comes to partying, girls rule!” Cassie shouts back. She stands up and throws her arms straight up in the air, “Girls rule, woohoo!” 

Kate clutches the wheel with her left hand, turns and grabs hold of Cassie’s shorts, “Hunter may be many things, but he's not a loser," she says pulling Cassie down into the seat, "are you crazy you could have fall-” “Watch out!” Cassie shouts, before the car thumps.

Kate brings the car to a screeching halt, “What, what’s going on?” Hunter says shaking his head. “I think I hit something.” Kate responds. "Whatever something was it looked like a gigantic beast!” Cassie says throwing her arms around Kate’s neck. “Hunter, will you get out and look?” Kate says, running her hand up and down his leg. “I guess since you asked so nicely.” He gives his popular quarterback grin and opens the creaking door, stepping out into the unknown.

“Oh my God! Oh my God!” He yells. Kate and Cassie’s cries echo off the desert’s hollow caverns. "What are we going to do, I just know we killed someone." Cassie screams. Hunter walks up to the car laughing, “Here’s your gigantic beast!”  He says holding up the lifeless rabbit. “Hunter!” Kate shouts.

After what seemed like hours of a roaring engine the dawn's light finally appears in the distance, “So Kate like where did you hear about this diner that-” Kate interrupts, pointing her finger up in the air, “No need to shout Cassie; the top is up.” She says. “My duh, so how did you find this diner that is supposed to be so famous?” Cassie finishes. “I found it,” Hunter says looking back, “on the internet and it’s not a diner it’s a cafe.” Cassie rolls her eyes, “Whatever.” 

Kate reaches out and strokes her hand up and down Hunter’s briskly jaw line, “Yeah, he thought since I’m finishing medical school and getting ready to enter the Funeral Director Program I would find the Road Kill Café’s weird animal taxidermy gone bad interesting.” Kate says. “Whatever, I’m just along for the ride, Cassie shrugs, “look there it is!” She says, pointing to the right.   

A JINGLING BELL INTRODUCES their entrance, suddenly, a waitress appears out of nowhere, “Welcome to the Road Kill Café,” she looks around the empty room, “sit where ever ya thinks' safe.” She says with a sardonic smile. The three of them look around the café, “Over there in front of the window.” Kate says. “Why you young’ins will be safe as a June bug in July.” 

Hunter wipes his mouth for the third time, “I can’t believe how delicious the special of the day was.” He moans. “Oh, you’re just a pig, you’d eat anything and you’re wrong it was disgusting.” Kate says. Cassie drops her fork onto her plate, "Don’t you two think it’s, like you know, weird with all these animals on the walls that look like they died a horrible death?” She stares around the room. “That’s the way they’re supposed to look stupid,” Hunter says pointing to a cat with human teeth, “that’s what they're famous for, having the world's most terrible taxidermy.”  He smirks. “Well I think it’s creepy and I want to leave.” Cassie pouts. “Hunter, I think Cassie’s right, we should probably leave. It’s not what I thought it would be and besides the waitress is a little strange.” Kate says. "Not to mention the ugliest woman I have ever seen." Hunter adds.

Hearing clickity clacking from behind, the three of them simultaneously turn their heads to look back. "How’d ya’all like today’s special?” The waitress asks, holding a lifeless rabbit up with her left hand. “Oh my God, it’s the bunny we killed!” Cassie shrieks. Kate cups her hands over her mouth, “You mean we just ate actual road kill?” The waitress cocks her head to the right and smiles, “Why honey, no, road kill isn’t good enough for our special of the day.” 

Hunter stands and grabs Kate’s hand, “I think we’ll be leaving now Ma’am.” He says. “Have it your way,” The waitress says shrugging her shoulders and turning to walk behind the counter. She flings the rabbit up on the counter top, “I reckon ya‘all didn’t notice the sign outside saying today’s special was Trucker Delight. Guess what tomorrow’s special’s going to be?” She pulls a machete up from behind the counter, “College Student Delight,” she says, raising the machete above her head, "and the three of you look deliciously delightful!” 

Hunter lunges across the counter top and tackles the waitress, but she’s too big and soon over takes him, laughing the whole time. Suddenly, Kate realizes how much she loves the self-centered bastard, “Quick Cassie, throw me your knife!” Catching it in the nick of time, Kate thrusts it into the spine of the flesh eating waitress and twists and turns it until she gurgles’s her last word, “flesh.”

The three friends walk out of the Road Kill Café holding each other’s hands, “Wait, I have something I need to do.” Kate says. She walks up to the outdoor sign and with the knife still clutched in her right hand she adds, “It’s to die for” in blood across the words; Today’s Special: Trucker Delight. 

“Wait, I also have something I need to do.” Hunter says. He bends over the railing and hurls. 

Total word count: 997     


  1. Time for dinner! I'll take mine rare please. Very rare.

    Great story, T.K. and Efi Loo. We are what we eat.

    Have fun on your day off. Eat, drink, and be merry. Check the expiration date on the tuna.


  2. The Road Kill Cafe is very interesting. Flesh eating waitress . . . at least they are alive!

  3. Thanks Blaze! Efi Loo (really) had a good time writing this one. There will be a lot of drinking and merryness (I know not a word) going around today!
    (too funny, just as I was writing this response, Efi Loo jumped up on her writing stool and started making donuts in her blanker :))

  4. Storytreasury, thank you for taking time to read Road Kill Cafe. Can you tell Efi Loo and I like to watch a lot of movies on Chiller?

  5. This story had a nice horror feel to it that was there in the very beginning. It made for nice tension when Hunter gets out to check the creature they hit.

  6. Thank you AidanF for stopping by and reading, and THANK YOU for the wonderful compliment!