""Beneath the pressure of torments such as these, the feeble remnant of the good within me succumbed. Evil thoughts became my sole intimates-the darkest and most evil of thoughts.""
-Edgar Allan Poe, The Black Cat

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Bite of The Cat Vamp

Based on Vamplit Publishing's Friday Flash Theme: Medical and dental oddities 

Margie waited for the endless stream of previews to end and the theatre to become her favorite dark hideaway before digging in to the bucket of freshly popped popcorn; drenched in butter and loaded with extra salt. 
She had waited weeks to see the newest hit comedy, Romancing For Dummies, and the opening scene found her belly jiggling and her mouth stuffed full of the buttery salted goodness.  The cold soda barely washed her mouth clean before she shoved another handful in.
As her right incisor cracked against the kernel, Margie knew the long awaited dreadful day had finally come.  No longer could she use the excuse of not having dental insurance be her reason for never seeing a dentist.  It was time to face her biggest fear, but fear would have to wait.
To avoid having to face the crowd of movie goers, Margie escaped through an exit door in the back of the theatre and stepped out into the alleyway.  
The moon’s reflection on the dampened asphalt and the echoes of life in the distance sent a shiver of regret through Margie’s overstuffed belly and she turned to grab the door handle. 

The coldness of the solid steel door sent a bolt of pain straight from her broken tooth all the way to the right side of her brain.  Taking a deep breath, she turned and dragged her way down the alley.  Halfway to the end, a pile of rubbish on the left rattled and shifted and a bottle rolled out and landed in front of her feet.    
“I don’t have any money and I’m fat so you won’t want to rape me!”   
A dark shadow crawled out of the rubbish and zig zagged its way toward Margie.  She squeezed her eyes shut and stood frozen in fear at the thought of being mauled to death by the giant rat.  
She opened her eyes and smiled.  “Ah, your just a cute little kitty cat.”  She bent over and reached out to the pet its silky black fur.
“Hiss!  Growl!  Hiss!”  The white fangs found their way into Margie’s right hand before the cat ran off into the darkness.
“Damn cat!”
The glare of the morning sun found Margie waking refreshed and invigorated.  She lifted her right hand and rubbed her fingers across the two puncture wounds.  “Hmm, they don’t even hurt.”
Moping her way toward the bathroom, she reached up to feel the soothing sensation of her right incisor and pricked her finger against something sharp.  She ran the rest of the way down the hall and switched on the light and lifted her top lip.  “Oh my gosh, I have a brand new tooth!”  
She paused and stared at the reflection of the shiny white fang.  “Wait a minute, I just ran down the hall.”  She slammed the bathroom door and spun around in a circle.  “Oh my God, I’m thin!”

She realized if it worked for one it might work for the rest.  
Margie pulled open her kitchen junk drawer and pulled out a pair of pliers and then grabbed the bottle of Wild Turkey from the cupboard she had been saving in hopes of a special occasion and headed back toward the bathroom. 
After every shot of whiskey, Margie clasped the pliers around a tooth and yanked.   
Margie yawned like a cat at the rising sun and the anticipation of making her first dentist appointment in years found her fearless.  

The wrapping of the leather chair around her newly formed curves and the softness of the music made Margie hungry.  
“Good afternoon, Margie, I’m Dr. Giggles and what brings you here today?”  
“Oh, just a routine check up.”  
He pulled his chair closer.  “Let’s have a look.”   He slapped on a pair of latex gloves and flipped the light strapped to his forehead on.  “Wow!  I’ve seen some strange dental oddities before, but I have to say you win the prize.  Which parent did you inherit this gene from?” 
Margie purred.  “Let’s just say, the cat’s got my tongue.” 

The white fangs found their way into Dr. Giggles right hand and Margie delighted in her payback to many years of torture in a dentist chair.
Total word count:  728   


  1. Great. i just would like my dentist bitten, thank you!
    Very cute. really adorable.

  2. Carole, thanks, me too, although I have to say I have a really sweet, and gentle, dentist. It's ones from my childhood this was written for! By the way, it was inspired by the photo you posted to my wall, which I will post here soon. :)

  3. I love this story, T.K. One must watch which kitties are petted. Some are better left alone.

    Pass that whiskey, please.


    1. Thanks Blaze! One never knows which sweet and innocent little kitty is actually a blood sucking vamp! Thanks for stopping by to read and comment!

  4. I think I posted here. Hmmn. wonky computer. Love the story!


  5. Cute and vicious all at once. Watch out for those cats!

    1. Eric, cats are smart. Efi Loo often times will tenderize the finger with a gentle kiss, just before sinking her fangs in! Thank you for stopping by to take time to read and comment!

  6. Replies
    1. Donald, it truly was fun to get back! Thank you for stopping by out of your busy schedule to read and comment at The Cat Vamp Diaires!